Five Stages
by grim grace
Summary: Like any normal man, Mark accepts Maureen's big news in the same five stages anyone else would. One sided Mark/Maureen, mentions of Roger/Mimi


**Disclaimer: Text taken from the film (2005) I don't own Rent. Just a burning desire to de-clothe Roger. ;P **

**.:.**

_Denial_

"Hey," the guitarist greets Mark as he steps inside the loft, dragging the door close behind him. "Where's Maureen?"

Mark pretends to not notice the question and busies himself with his camera.

So, he hadn't told Roger yet. Obviously, Roger could tell something was up, since they'd told each other everything since their first meeting. But really, how could he tell Roger _this?_ It was just so… impossible.

It sounded like a bad plot line in the television shows that Mark used to think were badly directed.

His girlfriend had left him.

For another girl.

It was a phase, he decided quickly. That's why he wasn't telling Roger. There was no way that Maureen would be better with the girl that she'd run off with (Joanne, Mark remembered hearing her name nonchalantly the day that Maureen and she had met). Maureen was a drama queen at her heart; with her never ending protests and her performances that were partly inspiring, mostly confusing. But at the end of it—and the end of all the shit that she put him through, she'd be back.

"Markie?" Roger catches his attention again, utilizing the nickname that had probably driven him out of his family home in the first place.

Mark shoot him a withering look, continuing to work with the camera.

"Where's Maureen?" Roger asks him again.

This is it. A moment of truth, he supposes dramatically. To tell Roger, or not to tell Roger. He can imagine the reaction—it'll be a slow dawning look of recognition followed by a helpless few seconds of laughter. Once Roger realizes what he's laughing at he'll stop, and feel guilty for it.

Mark swallows. He doesn't want to, or need to deal with that.

"She's out," he says, "not sure when she'll be getting back."

Mark doesn't like lying to Roger. Technically, it's not a lie though, he reasons. He doesn't know when, but there's no denying it.

She'll be back.

**.:.**

_Anger_

That's the longest stage. When Roger finds out (because Maureen left some sweater she needed in his room and has a stupidly big mouth), he reacts just as Mark had anticipated and it flicks a switch in him. She's not coming back.

She's with her girlfriend now.

He questions it just like all the lame books tell him he will. But why shouldn't he question it? As far as he'd known, Maureen had always been a woman who liked, well, _men. _And he, the last _man _she'd dated just happened to be the last man?

Had he been so bad that he'd made her stop wanting to be men?

Because that couldn't be it. He'd never received anything more than positive feedback, if you will. Except for that one time with the Rabbi's daughter but her was a seventeen year old boy and what had she really expected?

So it had to be her fault. Of course it was her fault; she was the one who'd dumped him. She was the one who'd decided that because of her diva tendencies she just had to be a lesbian.

Who does that?

He gets the same reaction from everyone. When Benny finds out an laughs so hard he hits the garage door with glee. He knows that when Collins and his new beau Angel find out that they both laugh, and Roger laughs again. But he still can't help it.

"Mark," she says his name sounding for the first time a little bit awkward. It is just a little bit awkward, isn't it though? "It's me. Maureen."

He drops his head into his hands and sighs, waiting for the inevitable. Two weeks ago he would have been almost completely confident that she was calling to admit _the _mistake but that's not it—not this time. He can't help but feel just a little bit of hope that that might be it before he pushes it out of his mind.

"Look, I have a bit of a problem. Urgh… I really need your help. I hired Joanne as my production manager and I don't think she knows what the hell she's doing."

He knew it was coming.

As soon as she introduced herself to the machine he knew that he was going to end up speaking to her. He wasn't sure how it was going to happen but he was inevitably going to stand, and pick up that phone.

Just Mark.

"If you could just, please baby, come over to the performance space and—"

The phone is in his hand before he really even noticed. He wanted to yell and fight and scream but before he could he remembered that he was Mark.

"Hey Maureen, hi…"

God he's pathetic.

**.:.**

_Bargaining_

Once the riot is over, (or quashed, ruined, arrested or something else) he knows exactly what he's going to do with his footage. Not only will it mean that he can finally tell Benny to stick it where the sun don't shine but he can also tell Maureen what he's done for her.

And then maybe she'll realize what she's done.

It had taken his directing mind some time to think of it. Even after the entire event that had occurred at the performance space, it'd been at least fifteen minutes of hiding and worrying that the Police might take his camera until he'd realized.

Because there must have been a way for him to make her realize that she was wrong. Make her at least regret her decision.

The idea of her coming crawling back to him was just too delicious.

He fumbles as he steps into the Life Café, grinning as he sees everyone. He reassures them all that he's fine, only then realizing that they must have wondered where he was before he hastens to tell them (_her) _his news.

"Tonight, on the eleven o'clock news, the lead story is going to be your show."

He sees the grin appear on her face almost before it does. Because he's seen it enough times to know exactly how to make her happy—and ensuring that she'll be the centre of attention is always it.

"How do you know that?" she frowns, the grin staying there.

"They bought my footage of the riot," he tells her gleefully. "They're going to see the whole thing."

He knew what she meant suddenly, about being the centre of attention. As everyone's breath sucks in and they clap for him, he realizes why she likes it so much.

The centre of attention for anyone who owns a television?

By right, she should have molested him right then and there.

She looked about to do that. "Are you serious?" She grins slightly, her chin dipping back as she lets her nervousness be known. Is his lying?

He nods with that cute little smile that he knows gets her every time.

And then she's kissing him and he's sucked back into the memories of everything before her lesbianism made itself known and Joanne.

And he doesn't even mind when Joanne pulls her away. Because remembering all the things he's lost remind him that they weren't that great.

**.:.**

_Depression_

Roger's gone.

Mimi won't talk to him. Won't talk to anyone.

Joanne and Maureen are away—both trying to mend the relationship that was barely hanging on.

Collins is drowning.

And his stupid, damn, documentary is the only thing he can focus on.

He doesn't know what he wants. He could want to be a great director but that isn't working, and he could want to be with Maureen but he doesn't want her anymore. He could be anything but he's fallen. Fallen into a rift that no one can pull him out of.

He tries to talk to Collins as much as he can, when he's still around. But then he disappears too. He knows Roger would have wanted him to keep an eye on Mimi but he can't find her and his damn documentary won't work.

He doesn't have the time.

He doesn't have the knowledge.

The damn documentary won't work.

**.:.**

_Acceptance_

Mimi's back (from where they don't really know). Roger's back. They're back together and they won't be going anywhere fast. They're clutching at each other like their batteries. Batteries that are the only thing sustaining life between them.

He leans back in his couch, watching his own documentary (the same one that wouldn't work without his whole family there).

(And oh yeah, that still includes Maureen. And, funnily enough, Joanne).

**.:.**

**Review? (first RENT fic, to be followed by a multichapter following up the events of the musical.) **


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